Think longer career lifetimes

Recently, I’ve found myself in conversations with young, expectant mothers who are also deeply invested in their careers. There’s a quiet, recurring question beneath those conversations: What happens now?

Not in a dramatic sense—but in the very real, immediate moment where you’ve just discovered you’re pregnant, and at the same time, something important is happening in your career. A new role, a transition, an opportunity. And alongside the joy, there’s also uncertainty—especially around how to tell your employer.

This isn’t a post about work-life balance. It’s about that specific, vulnerable moment. I’ve been there twice, and I want to share what it felt like—and what unfolded after.

The first time

I had just moved back to India from Germany. My employer had worked out a flexible setup for me to work from Bangalore while reporting to a manager in the US. It was an exciting transition—I was setting up a new rhythm, managing a small team, and preparing to travel to the US to meet everyone in person.

Right then, I found out I was pregnant.

I remember feeling incredibly happy—and almost immediately after, a wave of guilt. The US trip had to be cancelled because of medical advice. I hadn’t even properly started working with my new manager yet. How would I explain this? Would it reflect poorly on me?

I lost sleep over it. I think many women will recognize this feeling—the sense of responsibility, of not wanting to let anyone down.

But when I finally shared the news, the response was simple: people were happy for me.

Looking back, what I feared most never really materialized. I continued working, traveled later in my pregnancy, met my team, and even completed a critical API rollout just days before my first child was born.

Yes, my career slowed down for a while after that. But that phase also gave me space—to explore cybersecurity more deeply, participate in CTFs, attend meetups, and slowly shift my path from software engineering to security architecture.

At the time, it didn’t feel like “progress.” In hindsight, it absolutely was—just in a different direction.

The second time

A few years later, I was in a strong place in my career. I had grown into a senior role, taken on more responsibility, and things felt like they were accelerating.

Around then, I got an opportunity from a new organization. The role was exciting, the office was close to home (which, in Bangalore, is no small blessing), and everything seemed to be lining up perfectly.

And then—I found out I was pregnant again.

This time, the question felt even more complicated. I hadn’t even formally joined yet. Should I say anything? Should I wait? Would this change their decision?

I chose to be upfront.

I told them I was excited about the role, but I had just discovered I was pregnant. I didn’t know how it would be received—I just knew I wanted to be honest.

They still offered me the job.

That moment stayed with me. Not because it was extraordinary, but because it showed that sometimes the fears we carry don’t play out the way we imagine.

That role worked out beautifully for me, especially with a young child. And again, while my career may not have moved at the fastest possible pace during those years, I found other ways to grow—through community work (Software Engineering Radio), conversations, and eventually, building something of my own.. This literally helped me get to where i am today founding Securacy.AI.

What I’ve come to understand

If you’re in that moment right now—newly pregnant, thinking about how this might affect your career—you’re not alone in feeling conflicted.

It’s okay to feel joy and worry at the same time.It’s okay to not have a perfect plan.It’s okay to feel like the timing isn’t “ideal.”

So if I could say one thing, it would be this:Be kind to yourself when you can’t. And try—however difficult it feels—to think beyond just the next few months.

It’s not a sprint, it's a marathon!